This is the greatest knock knock joke in the history of all knock knocks jokes ever told, ever.
why am i awake
because you don’t need beauty sleep you’re already so beautiful
do you want me to pay you in young money or cash money?
i just picked up a new hobby called “messaging people on facebook i’ve never actually talked to demanding they give me back my sandals”
I’ve never seen a bigger cry for help in a man’s eyes.
i’ve never understood why ‘manslaughter’ is the name for a lesser charge than murder.
manslaughter sounds like you fuckin chopped someone into pieces with a rusty axe and fed them to your dog.
gonna put them on my christmas tree shaped christmas tree
my doctor told me to eat more taco bell
well actually he said “less mcdonalds” but i’m pretty sure i know what he meant